VIOLA

Funny i had no name for what i wanted to write nor what i should write on so i decided to write about me and see the tittle that’s what my mother named me.

I was once a girl that couldn’t get anything right. I used to argue for the case of winning, I always opposed everything growing up. I was a young girl that hated pity but then seeks it with all my strength. I never knew what I wanted and my dreams and goals would shift daily and at times hourly. I never had a goal in life or I would rather say my goal was getting to the end of the day with no mistake and thus I never tried anything new for that meant failure or second position and that wasn’t just who I was.

Why am I even writing this? Huh maybe because I want for my grandchildren to learn from my lessons .at high school I met some pretty friends who knew what life was and I learnt a thing or two but still i took no actions . I was bright and knew I was going to the university and I did. I had three good years studying law and when I graduated I went up and be a sales person while I worked as a network marketer after a while I quit network marketing though it was giving me a lot of cash at the time but well I wanted overnight success and after a while I learnt overnight success is built from step one with nothing and you move slowly, adding to it until the day when you are successful and the world doesn’t care how long it will take you nor what you went through. The world only sees results and it’s the finest results that’s called overnight success

I am just another girl with a mission and at the age of 25 I just know that I am in this world so that I can impact it(I don’t know how or where yet )I am trying to figure this out and I daily ask for guidance and two years ago I decided I am going to do whatever that I set my mind on and go with it see where it take me. I have grown in person and knowledge but then I have reduced the number of my friends and I am focused on me. I was brought up as any other African girl and wasn’t taught on self-worth or self-love

It took an abusive relationship that I couldn’t share with anyone until it got too bad then I told my family about it and they handled the matter and helped me out. (This is a story for another day another time) At that time I thought I loved me but looking back I loved the girl that my society thought I should be. See I never even knew the difference two years , I don’t even think I have grasped the whole concept yet (self-love and worth) but I know better now and I daily take steps towards loving me and spending a lot of time with me myself and i(this doesn’t mean that everyone that stays alone is doing the same though).

See I am still struggling with a lot of things but I know for a fact that what doesn’t challenge you won’t change you and the only constant thing in life is change. So I live each day as it comes and still try so hard to keep the promises I can only keep while at the same time write articles on my blog, write on other people’s blog, write poems, add a page or three to a book I started writing in 2015, read a few pages , stay put at my day job and work behind the scene on some personal projects that intend to impact the world until next time below are my favorite quotes

  • A journey of a thousand miles start with a single step
  • Love yourself first and everything else falls in line , you really have to love yourself ,to get anything done in this world
  • Don’t assume anything, if you don’t know about a thing ,ASK.

 

 

 

 

IT’S NOT A SIN FOR A GIRL TO START HER OWN LIFE .

 

In Tanzania it’s really hard for parents to let their daughters start a new life after she is done with university, you may be working and earning and are ready to start a life of your own but the parents won’t let you. It’s out of love I understand but  let’s be honest girls also need to be able to stand alone and that is so well learnt while starting off on life on your own.

Staying alone when you are an adult isn’t a sin, it’s one of the greatest known ways that would help a person grow both emotionally and add-on some financial knowledge such as budgeting, saving for the future, dealing with emergencies and paying bills. Yet to most of our parents this is not what they see when a girl wants to go away from home to start her own life

I understand that we girls have rights to focus on our career and build our own lives, have a few assets before you settle down and start a family but most of our parents what us (girls) to stay at home until we are ready to get married and then they can give us away on the sendoff day (a pre wedding party in Tanzania by the parents of the bride to give away their daughter,)

It’s a shame that most of the girls are not allowed to start their own life well I am not most girls and when I want something I make sure I get it , I wanted to start my life and off I went . I am living in a lovely two room’s apartment and my life has been better ever since and I have improved in the following mentioned areas

  • Budgeting my salary and knowing the importance of saving plus having another tiny source of income apart from salary
  • The importance of time, I do all the house work on my own and so this has enabled me to manage my time well
  • I have improved a lot on my kitchen recipes (my friends are now jealous )since while at home i was always at work then back home and food is ready (I only cooked on weekends but now I cook daily .This has also helped me to be able to arrange my meals better
  • I have known most of the things that I really like and enjoy , by staying alone I have come to understand myself better and love me for who I really am and I can’t just write everything here but I am really glad I made this choice for it has helped me a lot

There so many things that our parents won’t let us do thinking they are  protecting us but the truth is they are doing quite the opposite by not giving us a choice, what do you all think about this.

A LETTER TO EVERY WOMAN ALIVE

To Whoever it may concern

Hello and I am hoping this finds you in great health, its May already, 2017 is flying so fast we both wish we can slow it down so we achieve a little more. Happy new month, it’s that time you renew your goals and plans so you can adjust and win as the winner you truly are.

This isn’t like me, I know but after a certain analyzation I decided to write this letter to whoever it may concern. So a lot of people I have met are trying so hard to be what they are not and I don’t blame them at all. We are now on what is called the information era, so people are trading information and Media are forcing us to become part of this information

We are shown by our Media certain life standards (stunning contents feed)  and we think that we should fit these standards displayed on the media so we can be complete as humans .well let me break it to you this is a highlife which is edited and aren’t true. This are just a display of the their lives after all the rough ,sad, heartbroken, and all not merry parts are taken off and girl we all experience these moments but then life knocks us and remind us that we are on earth and  we can fall if we are not careful with the steps we take

When on social media you see women with perfect bodies, no stretch marks, ladies always on heels and this makes you question your own existence on earth. This feeds have had you feeling so negative about your own life it has even make you feel ugly and this lowers your self-esteem.  Stop trying so hard to impress people while being unhappy .You think you don’t have the perfect body and when on social media everyone has a perfect body but reality check most of the people don’t .So you should start loving you.

I wish I could tell you daily that you are perfect as you are until you could come to accept this in your subconscious mind .i wish you could see beyond your soul and see the true being that you are. You are perfect as you are and whoever think you are not cannot create you so be kind to your own self. Remember all those tough times you went through and you got out of this so strong

Until next time stop hiding behind that meat and give to the world what is really hidden beneath that body open your soul to the world and you will see just how many lives you are able to touch

Yours truly Vwala

HOW DID WE GET HERE?

 

I was raised by a single mom and my grandmother then my step mom and father and later by my aunt and then back to my father and step mom. This is just a lot to take in as a kid but now as a grown up lady (I am 25 years old now and sees the world a with a different eye) I totally understand what I couldn’t .All through my growing up I saw women married or not they respected each other, the elders taught the younger generation and the younger generation listened and took to heart what was taught to them. People were happy with the little that they had and knew how to work hard to get what they want.

Fast forward to the .com generation no one listen to the other, we all are wise and our only focus is money. We try so hard to compare ourselves to the models and stars that we see on Tv that our lives have become a mess that we can’t seem to get out of. We all want to be wearing designer shoes, carry designer handbags, eat and sleep at five star hotels and at the same time. We have become so heartless that we drag others down so we can stand tall.

We have become lost sheep not knowing what we want but wanting it anyways. we really at the worst stage as human beings but this needs to stop for  we are ladies and we need to lift each other up, not drag each other down. We need to celebrate each other’s successes and share each other’s pain. We can get there if we help each other through support, shared knowledge, mentorship, and love. Connect, not separate.

We need to get to higher positions and stop tearing each other down. As I write this last line I am still asking myself how we got here.

Distinguished women in Tanzania (my list)

i love women that wakes up with dreams to make Tanzania and the world at large a better place and here is my very own list of Women who do just that I am not going to write them in order but these women are doing extra ordinary things in the country and you can’t go a month or at least I can’t go a month without seeing them on the news or without coming across a project they are on

I love to call them SHEROES and below is my list (don’t judge and you are free to add or create your own list)

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FARAJA NYALANDU.

She won a beauty pageant in the year 2007 But ever since she is been on our ears and eyes ever since she is out there making sure youths that have completed university know their way out on the street @shuledirectplus.co.tz but she got all the subjects of secondary school students at her own application (shule direct ) where she is helping more than 5000 secondary  students from the country access the school subject just by a click.

She has also started her forum where she speaks to ladies and help them achieve a lifestyle they want and eey did I mention that above all this she is a wife and a mother to two beautiful children

 

FLAVIANA MATATA

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This beauty is a proof that you can be in the a beauty industry and have brains (a lot of them).Two years ago she brought home her nail polish line that had very good quality products that she has improved a lot plus added a lot of new products ever since but she has also come up recently with candles that we all going to have just to keep our homes smelling so well. Out of business this beautiful queen is helping girls stay in school under theflavianamatatafoundation and she also provide school kits to the under privileged students .

JACQUELINE MENGI (K-LYNN)

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Marrying off a rich man has its advantage but this lady is proving to the world that hard work and persistence is the way forward, Forbes have eyed  her interior designs  but I am typically obsessed with her furniture line . she has this unique furniture that you could rob a bank to have them at your home . she does not only advocates against poaching but for every furniture she sells she plants a tree and hence keeping our environment well

BONNAH MOSES KALUWA

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You all have heard the saying that whatever a man can do a woman can do better?? The representative of the Segerea constituency is a proof of this , since elected she has done so much for the people that people all across the country are seeing women as able bodied leaders thanks to her. She started her very own foundation where she helps the non privileged students from Segerea go back to school and every January she offers uniforms to students under her project ELIMU BORA KWA MAZINGIRA BORA CAMPAIGN

JOKATE MWEGELO

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This lady is seen doing business everywhere everyday. she is a hard worker and she is everywhere as in she sings , acts and as a business lady she has her hair brand (that isn’t doing any better ever since it started ) we all know business can be hard sometimes but do you ever listen to what your customer wants??? The slippers were the best thing ever but where did they go to?  The school bag story (heard you copied an idea)which is not a problem but eey improve it and move past it my dear. You came up with Msusi wao and never finished the project (this is so bad as in its giving your biggest customers trust issues) so dear Jokate we love you so much and are ready to support you just come up with good quality products

WEMA SEPETU

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I just wrote her name because she is well branded but doing nothing with her brand. she is an actress and a beauty queen that started her lipstick line that failed drastically , she went on and came with flip flops that were under quality and did not do well in the market . she got involved in politics and never made a career as a CCM KADA and now she is against them and have moved to the other opposition party where she is doing such a good work advocating against CCM. She has also launched her application that is so far doing well and eey Wema you are adorable but please give us something that we will always remember you for

So  this is my list and this are my opinions and yes I have researched on this but I welcome honest opinions from you guys and together let’s make Tanzania a better place

WOMEN we men

 

Women we men women we men

No matter what you call us  you fit right after us

When together our efforts are more than all of yours united

So all women of the world please lend me your ears

 

Insecurities will eat you up and away

Low self-esteem will drag you to your knees

Media has taught us that these standards are everything

But women of the world you can never please that star TV or that model that doesn’t know you exist

 

Dress how you want to be addressed , act your age ,act your wage

You are precious more than the women that wish were you

More precious than the men that wish had you

So dear women of the world love you for when love is real it finds a way

 

Men will call you names and expect you to send attention their ways

And when you don’t you are not pretty anyways

Always seen as the weaker sex, always in need of help

Well we women have always endured the nine months with no help

 

People will always comment on your appearance

Rather than what actually matters

Walking alone at night will always be scary

You will be harassed and expected to be okay with it

 

 

Media has taught us that no one get attention unless you are pretty

But we women of the world were molded by the King of kings

Of ourselves we have made slaves

But we are stronger than that lets break off this chains

 

Women of the world don’t lose hope for we are we men

And when the sun goes down the stars come out

Be a queen attract a king

Raise your kingdom for we are the mothers to all the men

DEAR PAPA

 

Please don’t live us yet

I will be a good one

This one I promise

Mama aint herself

She cries lots

Am I that bad?

Please papa even if you hate mama now

Please papa stay for I am on the way

 

Papa

Mama doesn’t eat

She hurts so bad

She is always strong

in your presence

She will smile

And you will think she is fine

Please papa even if you hate mama now

Please papa stay for I am on the way

 

 

 

 

Papa

I was mad at you

The reason she was mad

Now you say she’s bad

It’s all me papa, I am bad

She is the same woman you love

I wish I hadn’t raced to win

Please papa even if you hate mama now

Please papa stay for I am on the way

 

Papa

I can feel your rejection

I will be good just if you stay

I have seen you ,I know you

I know mama, mama feels me

Don’t you wanna see my face?

Do you know how many trophies I plan to bring home?

Please papa even if you hate mama now

Please papa stay for I am on the way

 

 

 

 

Please papa

Listen to my voice

See through my eyes papa

This too shall pass papa

I won’t make her grow bigger

She will still have that body you lusted for

She will still have that cute smile

Please papa even if you hate mama now

Please papa stay for I am on the way

 

Papa

Why are you doing this

What did they say to you

I can feel your pure hate

I can sense  mama’s pure love

I am partial yours papa

I am that sperm that won

Please papa even if you hate mama now

Please papa stay for I am on the way

 

Please papa stay please papa

Don’t leave US

ITS OKAY TO BE SINGLE

Wedding bells are everywhere this months , and this comes with a lot of hustle since friends and relatives are either marrying or getting married. We all know the struggle to get to fit in a party, the buying of a dress/suit cute shoes and trying your best to get that unique piece so you don’t go there and it’s like you are in school uniform. Again we have to send our contributions on time (something I am so against)

Lastly on the wedding day and everyone is happy , there is good food, music and drinks , all of your cousins , brothers and sisters are there with  their boyfriend/ girlfriend and they are happily introducing their partners to the rest of the family and you there with your wine and suddenly everyone starts asking why you are single

I have been here for more than a year now, at first I was pissed but now I understand that it’s just how they society wants us to live. We are raised in a society where ladies can’t be single at their twenties, we are raised in a society where ladies are not allowed to go out of their home rent a place and start their journey towards the adventure of life alone. We are raised to be dependent on our parents at a young age and as we grow older we are supposed to be dependent on our boyfriends and later to be dependent on our husbands and men are taught how to provide.

Due to the peer pressure many people get themselves in relationships since it’s a lot of work being single and the questioning goes away. Well here are some reasons why I am single and this will show you really why it’s okay to be single

  • You can be single because it’s what you want

Not all of us enjoy having a partner every time. There times when you are drained off all the in a relationship blood, then at this time it’s really okay to be single. Say you are just from a relationship, it wouldn’t be wise to straight jump to another one . Have some time with yourself learn why it didn’t work out and be okay with the fact that it’s over. During this time you can total relax be you and do the things that you like doing. Being single is fun and gives you all the freedom you need to do things you want to . feel like be single go for it enjoy and be happy about it. BE HAPPY FOR YOURSELF . DO WHATEVER YOU WANT

  •  It gives you time to learn about yourself.

The most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself. If that one isn’t healthy, none of your others will be. It is difficult to find a happy, healthy relationship if you have not taken the time to really define what that means to you. How will you recognize it when it comes along? Be alone an spend most of your time learning about yourself. What you like , what you don,t like and why . Get comfortable with being you and give yourself all the love you would give to the other person

  • It gives you time to learn about other people.

Sometimes the easiest way to spot the right person is by searching through a crowd of the wrong ones. When you have the time and the freedom to date other people, you can prepare a mental checklist of what you do and don’t want in a partner. When single you can have your dream partner and start looking for him I the crowd. Being single helps you to spot the best of want you want in another person and by working this out you can later enjoy the fruits of having the best partner ever because you have sought out what you want from any relationship. You need to be satisfied with who you are before you can get into a healthy relationship

You can have time to live just the way you want and by doing so you can improve your life style.

I am not saying that all relationships are bad and that those in a relationship can’t do the above. I am saying its okay for you to be single and explore the ocean of life happily. what are your thoughts

YOUR NETWORK IS YOUR NETWORTH

 

I find it funny that most of us invest in money, business education but never in relationships. I believe your social capital, or your ability to build a network of faithful personal and professional relationships, not your financial capital, is the most important asset in your portfolio. I believe that seeking out and working in collaboration with others who share your interests and values will provide a stronger foundation, enabling you to reach a higher level of success than you would on your own.

You cannot become what you can’t see and thus the sayings show me your friends and I will tell you who you are. As human beings we tend to be with people that match our own personalities and level of craziness however if this people do not help us in any situations that we really need help from then we tend to cut the connections / relationship

In this recent age and centuryyou can never underestimate the power of networking. This is because, research has shown that most people do get jobs, opportunities, and favors  faster through networking, as opposed to striving to get good grades while in school, and applying for jobs. Don’t get me wrong, applying for a job is good as well as getting good grades in school is also good, but in the real world and in reality networking influences a lot of decisions.  Isn’t true that, the saying, it’s not who know, but who knows you?

A strong network is like money in the bank. Your network can help you build visibility, connect you with influencers, and open up doors for new opportunities. Building and nurturing a network is one of the most powerful things you can do to support your career advancement

We should network strategically

Strategic networking is more than socializing and swapping business cards, it’s creating solid relationships to support your career aspirations. It takes focus and intention to build such a network, but it’s invaluable for your professional development

Identify who you know and who you need to know to help you reach your career goal and build a power network to support your advancement. It is generally said that, it is who you know that gets you the job, yes I agree to some extent, however, I think who you know gets you closer to the door. I say this because the act of networking is well known, and the norm is no longer who you know, but who knows you. Yes, you might know about MANJI , MENGI  President MAGUFULI  and some other prominent figures in the society, but the question is, do they know you? It is important to know that, who you know might get you to the door, but a person who knows you will not only let you in, but will, in addition, give you a seat. Networking does not only entail meeting people at events, it also involves using the resourceful social media tools like Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus and others  to reach out to folks, Its sad most of us are using this sites as a place to get gossip

 

My favorite  quote by Charlie Tremendous states  “You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for two things, the people you meet and the books you read”. You need productive network of friends who will not only refer  you to probable opportunities, but also, will help in making sure you have the right information and assistance needed to execute such task successfully. As you may know,. If you want to increase your net worth through your network, you must ask yourself this question, “Do I have resourceful friends who can assist me in realizing this deed?

Start by cross checking the list of friends that you have and if they don’t add anything in your life then just cut them off. it will hurt but then you will be doing your future self  a great favor  .whats your opinion on NETWORK AND NET-WORTH PLEASE SHARE ON THE COMMENT SECTION .